The Relationship Benefit of Travel

There is a lot of intimacy in routine. You learn exactly how your partner takes their coffee, which side of the bed they prefer, what they want for dinner when neither of you feels like cooking, and the particular look on their face that means they are ready to leave the party.

Over time, these little patterns become part of the language of a relationship. They create familiarity, comfort, and the wonderful feeling of knowing someone deeply.

Routine is good for us, but so is occasionally stepping outside of it.

Travel gives you the opportunity to temporarily leave behind the schedules and responsibilities that shape your everyday life. Instead of moving through the familiar rhythms of home, you are paying attention to where you are going, what you are seeing, and what your partner is experiencing alongside you. There are new things to talk about, decisions to make together, and plenty of opportunities for the unexpected to happen.

You also get to see each other in a different context. Maybe your partner is surprisingly good at navigating a foreign city, you discover that you are both terrible at surfing, or one of you becomes deeply invested in finding a historical landmark you would've never predicted they would care about. 

So, while we find intimacy in routine, we also find intimacy in continuing to stay curious about someone you already know very well, and travel gives you plenty of new material.

If you are thinking about taking a trip together, consider being a little intentional about the kind of experience you want to create. And if you weren't thinking about taking a trip, maybe it's time to plan one. 

What Kind of Trip Sounds Good to You?

There is no universally romantic vacation. One couple's dream of seven uninterrupted days on a beach is another couple's nightmare.

Before you start booking flights and saving hotels, think about what you actually enjoy doing together and how you want the trip to feel. You might want to return home deeply rested, experience a little adventure, eat everything in sight while learning something new, or simply have a ridiculous amount of fun together.

Different experiences invite different kinds of connection.

If You Want to Slow Down Together

Sometimes the luxury of traveling is simply having nowhere else to be.

A cabin in the mountains, a few days by the ocean, or a beautiful hotel with massages and a dinner reservation you can comfortably linger over for three hours can give you permission to move through the day without much of an agenda.

Slower trips create room for the things that often get interrupted at home. Conversations can linger because there is no laundry waiting in the other room, and you can sleep late, take a longer walk, spend an afternoon reading next to one another, or stay in bed for a few hours. 

Megan’s Trip Idea:

One of my favorite trips was Antibes, France. It was the most perfect, beautiful and picturesque mediterranean trip. You can get a nice hotel or do something more Airbnb style. It's the perfect place to meander around, shop, cook, eat nice food, and experience a few really lovely days. 

If You Want Some Excitement

There is something particularly connecting about experiencing something new together.

Choose an activity neither of you has done before, especially if it pushes you slightly outside your comfort zone. A hot air balloon ride, surfing lesson, horseback ride, or spontaneous road trip in a flashy rental car can pull both of you fully into the experience. There is something intimate about watching a person you know so deeply encounter something completely new.

You also come home with a story that belongs to the two of you, whether it is about the breathtaking view from the balloon or the fact that one of you spent the entire ride quietly terrified. 

Megan’s Trip Idea

The first thing that came to mind when I was considering something exciting was to see the hot air balloons in Cappadocia, Turkey. I have not done this yet, but Turkey would be a unique travel experience. Another exciting trip would be a safari in Africa. But I think we can also create excitement anywhere. I have been on so many roadtrips in the US, that have been some of my favorite experiences. The thing about a road trip is that you can go anywhere. An airplane will only get you to the major hubs, but when you travel by car the world is your oyster. 

If You Want to Get Curious

If curiosity is what you are craving, choose experiences that give you something new to discover together. You could get your astrology charts read by a witch, learn your way around a new cuisine in a cooking class, or visit somewhere with a culture neither of you knows much about and experience it together.

When you are both learning as you go, conversation naturally changes with the experience. New surroundings give you new things to wonder about, which can lead to unexpected questions, opinions, and stories you are shocked you have somehow never told each other.

Curiosity is a wonderful ingredient in intimacy because it keeps us from assuming we already know everything about the person beside us.

Megan’s Trip Idea

Italy has been my favorite country to explore and feel like I'm really learning something. There are endless museums. You can take a pasta cooking class if you want to. Or learn glass blowing in Venice. Learn about wine. Visit the spa. Or just bask in the rich history that surrounds you. You can choose Rome, Florence, Venice, all of the above, or anything in-between and be surrounded with plenty things to explore. 

If You Want to Play 

A playful trip needs enough room in the schedule to mess around.

You might end up singing karaoke somewhere nobody knows you, playing pool at a dive bar, swimming at midnight, or pulling over for the strange roadside attraction you would normally drive past. The activity itself matters less than giving yourselves opportunities to laugh, be spontaneous, and enjoy each other without needing the moment to accomplish anything.

Adults do not get nearly enough opportunities to be unserious, and playfulness creates its own kind of connection. It gives you permission to drop some of the roles you carry through everyday life and simply enjoy each other's company.

Some of the best vacation memories happen when the plan goes slightly off course anyway, so leave enough room in the itinerary for something wonderfully random to happen.

Megan’s Trip Idea

Another one of my favorite trips was Greece. But what I loved most about Greece, was renting a 4-wheeler and exploring the island that way. We would pick a beach on a map and just drive around the island in our bathing suits, hopping from beach to beach and grabbing a gyro when we were hungry. It was the perfect amount of play and adventure all in one. It's hard to beat exploring a mediterranean island, in the summer.  

Plan the Trip You Actually Want

Being intentional about travel does not mean turning your vacation into a relationship exercise. No need for an internal check list. 

It simply means considering what the two of you genuinely enjoy before building an itinerary around what a romantic vacation is supposed to look like.

If lying beside a pool for six hours makes both of you restless, you probably do not need to book a week at a resort. If you spend your normal lives moving at a million miles an hour, maybe the packed itinerary with seventeen activities a day is not what you are craving either.

Think about what makes you feel most connected when you are already together, what you have always wanted to try, and how you want to feel when you come home.

Travel creates a lovely temporary interruption where you both get to experience new places, new things, and sometimes new sides of each other. 

You already know how your partner takes their coffee at home. It can be pretty fun to find out who they become when thrown into a totally new environment.